The Strength to Stand
by PH03N1X4SH3S
Summary: Arthur, 19, is a normal student, except for his heavily nihilist philosophy. He has grown accustomed to solitude and an endlessly repeating routine, but that all changes as he is brutally thrust into another reality. Will he survive ? Will he be able to adapt ? And more importantly, how is he going to impact Gensokyo ?
1. Chapter 0: Prologue

_(__A/N__: OK, so before you start reading, I'd like to point out this is the first story I've ever written, so I'm not sure I know what I'm doing. I'd like people to leave constructive criticism for me to improve upon my flaws. The songs I'm listening to while writing this are Avenged Sevenfold - Angels, the album Damnation by Opeth, an instrumental version of Ful Stop by Radiohead, and finally It All Starts From Pieces by Distant Dream. If you're going to listen to music while reading this, I strongly suggest those.)_

_text = _memory or dream

'_text' = _character thinking

"_text" = _character speaking in a memory or a dream

"text" = character speaking

_**(text)**_ = Author's comment

_ = time skip

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**"**_**Don't you wonder sometimes ? Where we're all going ? Because when you're alone, without a goal, without anything, it makes you wonder, if you're just running in circles, waiting for it all to fade away."**_

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'_Fucking finally, I thought today would never end…' _I slowly sighed.

Making my way back from my 10 hours long day at the local engineering school, I crossed the street, with "_Angels" _by _Avenged Sevenfold_ playing in my headphones.

Today was uneventful, as usual; I woke up in the morning, got dressed, brushed my teeth, and went out.

I studied alone, ate alone, and left alone.

For some people, it may sound sad, or depressing, but it was a routine I was used to, and fine with.

I found peace in solitude; it made me focus on the calm inside, blocking out the sounds of people talking, cars moving, and the general sound pollution of the city.

I was always a person with sensitive ears, as far as I can remember.

It reminded me of how unusual I was; I preferred being alone, I always thought in a different way than other people… It's almost like I wasn't meant to be here, living and breathing in this world.

I had thought about that at one point, but I realized than there is simply no "meaning".

We were born into this world, that's the absolute truth; but there is no reason for it.

People live, people die. A happy couple strolls down the street, unaware of the man being robbed and killed in a nearby alley.

People are bound to their view of the world, of what they think is real, unaware of what really is.

A platoon of American soldiers celebrate their victory against a group of terrorists, who were doing what they think was right; defeating their enemy, for the so-called "God".

In the end, it's all the same; people are blinded by illusions they know as "reality", where their subjectivity turn into objectivity in their minds; just like an insane person would kill their loved ones thinking "I am protecting them".

And even when you realize that, you still are limited by your mind, anchored to this Earth as you play into the imaginary hands of Fate.

Indeed, even I gave up on finding something more that we all know as reality.

With a void for a soul and the powerlessness of a human, all I could do is regress to normality, living life as Time slowly doomed my existence.

Finishing my usual walk back to my apartment, I opened the door, climbed the stairs, and let myself inside.  
The Arduino linked to an ultrasound sensor that I'd set up detected my presence, and turned on the speakers, starting to play the album "_Damnation"_ by _Opeth_.

I took my headphones off, as well as my clothes, opened my window slightly, and let myself fall on my couch.

I was tired, more so than usual; so I wasn't even gonna bother eating tonight.

Feeling myself relax from the calming yet gloomy music, I closed my eyes.

Feeling my thoughts quiet down and my consciousness subtly fading away, I fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 1: Phantasmagoria, and Blood

"_Well, now you've piqued my interest. Care for a tour ?" A… woman ? what..._

_A bamboo forest… A european mansion… A mountain, with a view above the clouds… _

_An ethereal realm… A shrine… Why does it feel so… familiar ? nostalgic ? Then… nothing ?_

_nothing but infinite void, and… eyes ?_

I woke up sweating. I was used to nightmares, so I usually woke up in a calm fashion, but what bothered me about this… _Dream_ is that it didn't feel like one.

It felt real, more than any ever should. It didn't just _feel_ real, it WAS real. I just knew.

Still out of it, I decided to slap myself, get up, wash my face, and do something else until I forgot about it.

* * *

Today was Saturday, and I didn't have any classes. While most people stayed at home to rest, I preferred walking here, on a path with dead leaves and trees, and no one around. It was near the city, yet it felt like I was in the middle of nowhere; hence why I enjoyed it.

As I was looking up at the sky with rows of trees half blocking my view, I was reminded of the dream I just had this morning.

No matter what, it just seemed like I couldn't shake it off; this disruption in the daily routine I was so used to made me feel a way I didn't feel like in years; almost like I was back in high-school, with a ache in my heart and chaotic thoughts battling in my head.

I sighed.

'_Damn, why is this so complicated? i thought I grew out of this a while ago. But this dream… It's like it's calling me, to a place where I feel I belong…' _I stopped in my tracks.

"Eh, I'll just get back home and watch some anime. That always helps." I turned around and started walking again.

* * *

Slightly cracking one of my eyes open before shutting it again, I heard some _Opeth _playing from the entrance.

It reminded me of yesterday: I had gone home, and as suspected, watching anime was effective; I'd watched anime until it was about midnight and fell asleep. Speaking of which, I slowly opened my eyes, both of them this time, and looked at my alarm clock.

I noticed it was 4:00 AM. '_Why did I wake up this early ?'_

My eyes fully widened.

'_Music shouldn't be playing right now.'_

Someone was in the house with me.

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Silently hopping off my bed, I grabbed my clothes, consisting of a black _Bullet for My Valentine _T-shirt, black jeans, and white socks, and put them on.

'_I have to do something, but what ? If i turn on lights or make any noise, I'll be spotted._

_To make matters worse, I don't even know where that person is. For all I know, they could be behi-'_

I paled.

The door to my room was open.

i turned around as quickly as I could, just in time to feel my stomach being penetrated by steel and an excruciating pain taking over my body and mind, and I had time only to think of one thing:

'_It… hurts…' _

I blacked out.

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For the second time this week-end (Monday is the first day of the week here), I woke up in a sweat. I was gonna relax since it was just a nightmare, but something wasn't right.

'_Where am I ?'_ I got off of the hard surface I was leaning against, and tried to get up, only for a sharp pain to remind me of how cruel the world can be.

"Oww, Fuuck !" I grimaced. I've had my fair share of painful holes in the flesh, mostly due to the 4-5 surgeries I was unlucky enough to have to go through, but this one hurt like a _bitch_.

I then remembered what caused this; the events of the last night slowly made their way back in my mind, as reality began weighing down on me.

'_No, no, no, no no no no NO !' _I started to panic, feeling the gravity of the situation.

I was lost in some forest in the middle of nowhere, with a wound that would kill me shortly, and with seemingly no hope of survival.

As if to add insult to injury, I felt movement somewhere to my left, and when I looked, I saw a creature, that looked like a mix between a tiger, a wolf and a bear, only that instead of fur, it looked like it was made of a shadow, or black smoke that would eerily fade in the air slower than it should, like time was frozen around it.

For me, it just became too much. But instead of blacking out again. I felt rage build up. A rage fueled by the years of suffering that ripped my soul apart, which was replaced by a grey shroud to cover up the abyss that I didn't want to look at.

In that moment, I remembered everything from my childhood up to now; the people's false smiles, all the time I spent trapped in my room, motionless on a tear-soaked pillow, the hellish days of middle school of when I was still too scared to fight the bastards ganging up on me, the days i felt like my heart was gonna burst and go out through my mouth…

Then the sempiternal loop that was my life recently, up until I got stabbed and the world reminded me that the suffering wouldn't ever end.

Just by thinking of that, I let my sanity break as _wrath_ filled my whole being.

No more did I feel fear, or pain.

All my life I've lived a nightmare, and for what, to end this way ?

I wasn't gonna accept it. Not now, not ever. This world could burn for all I care, but I wasn't going to submit to it, and accept this cursed 'fate'.

My sight bore down on the one thing in front of me; the monstrous creature that had found its supposed next meal.

At that moment however, all I cared about was killing it.

Without mercy.

_**(Author's recommendation: play Spite - Kill or be Killed.)**_

As it lunged at me, I dodged and picked up a sharp stone. Stunned from hitting the tree where I was, it didn't have time to dodge as I planted it's head with the unusually sharp stone, and twisted for maximum effect. It tried to hit me again, but I dodged a second time, picking up sticks and shoving them in the blood red eyes of the creature.

It let out a bone-chilling shriek, but I didn't pay attention as i picked up a big stone, and started smashing the creature against the tree with it, again and again and again until it was practically stuck to it. I grinned. "Well, I'm gonna have fun with this." I said before planting my foot on its head firmly enough that it couldn't even attack me anymore, as I twisted its legs in unnatural angles, breaking the bones slowly and finally ripping it out. I did the same with the other three, and finished by kicking the head until it was nothing but red paste.

_**(Stop music)**_

"Well, I guess they do bleed after all." I said, still feeling murderous and high from the adrenaline. That didn't last long however, as the wound I had opened up even further and the adrenaline dropped, putting me down on my knees.

"F-Fuck…" The pain wasn't letting up as I felt the blood drain from my body, and the cold sweat running on my temples. I had to do something to close that wound, and fast.

'_Some of these leaves should do for now...'_ I grabbed enough to cover my wound with, hoping it was gonna do something. As I held them against my wound, I was surprised as I felt the pain fade away and my wound close up a bit.

'_Now that I think about it, there is something that feels… special about this forest.'_ I mused.

I was pulled out from my thoughts as I involuntarily fell to the side.

"Fuck. I have to do something before I lose consciousness…" Although I could barely stand, I did the best I could to make my way through the forest, tripping on roots and getting my feet stuck in the muddy ground.

As I arrived near a clearing, my body just 'shut down', as I inadvertently fell flat on the floor.

'_Dammit… I can't… give up… now…' _I crawled my way to the clearing as best as I could, slowing down until I couldn't move. As I felt myself drift into unconsciousness, the last thing I saw looking up with all the strength that I had left was… a house.


	3. Update: Unfortunate news

This story will be discontinued.

This story was just a test to see if I was interested by writing, but because my workload is heavy and that I have a lot of other things to do, I cannot continue writing as of now.

I might get back to writing fanfictions on this account one day, but I don't expect doing so in the next few months.

If I do indeed take an interest to writing, I will make sure to make a proper development BEFORE starting the story so I know where I'm going.

That said, I'd like to see your comments about the little test I did with the 2 chapters. Feedback is always appreciated.


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